A little real-talk, unedited post from my side today. Ever since I live (on and off) in Asia last year, I slowly realized that some people identify so strongly with their (family) status, wealth or a job position, that there is seriously nothing deeper to that person besides these traits.
Maybe its because now I reached that age and am more aware of it – or maybe because in Asia, people like to show off more than the humble Scandinavians. However, I have witnessed myself or second hand from friends, that guys walk up and drop a line like “Hey, yeah I am a quite known singer/actor/director/whatever here in x-city (and I know Godfrey Gao.. apparently everyone in Taipei and Shanghai is friends with Godfrey)” or “my family owns part of this and that place”. Or one of the most ridiculous ones I heard so far was: “Have you seen the city from the 30th floor? No? Well I do, because I work on such a high-level office”.
Newsflash bro, I don’t think anyone is impressed by that. Or maybe some people are – but then don’t come around complaining that these partners or fake friends are only in for your wealth, status, a good table at the club or whatever you can give them – and then they bounce as soon as she or he has enough of it or found someone with a higher status. I don’t get why in 2018, people still think showing off how much money they make, who they know or what their title is, should be impressive to people with common sense. “Wooow you own a company and have a Mercedes? Let me fall in love with you asap!”. Naw.
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I never go around and tell people what I do on my social media. I actually hate it when people introduce me to others with something along the line of: “Tuni has a blog/Instagram/pretty pictures and has x-amount of followers” (especially cause these things are always looked down upon as being dumb, superficial or pretentious). No, damn it, there is way more to me than some social media account, I don’t want to be seen as just that. I am a student, I am working different jobs, I am trying to find a way to turn my passion into a profession, I pursue more in life and have other aspects than an Instagram account or a blog or a pretty face. There is so much more to a person. Why do people limit themselves – and identify with one thing that they think will impress another person?
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Call me naïve but for me it is still so important to me, no matter if it is in a friendship or relationship, to actually connect to another person and feel comfortable and light-hearted when I spend time or have a conversation with them. I want stories to tell not things to show.! However, nowadays, when my friends and I go to social event and bump into another group, there are always a few people who have to show off what they own, what they do, who they know, how “powerful” they are.
For me, I don’t care what people in my inner circles do, as long as they have a passion and drive in life. I surround myself with friends that have a great, uplifting vibe – that’s all that matters. I don’t care where they work or what they can or cannot buy. All my close friends are following their ambition and it makes me feel energized to see them work hard. We are respectful to another and we encourage each other. They are my home and catch me in case I fall, and lift me up in case I doubt myself and are proud to see me grow – and vice versa. That should be one of the most important factors in a friendship or relationship. Feeling connected, comfortable and supported by and with each other.
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You should be surrounded by great, ambitious friends that have personalities and genuine care and love to share. I am really grateful to have found that. I guess the show-offs will come and go, now that I am aware of it, I can’t unsee it. And for all these macho behavior and ridiculous messages we get, we can laugh about it and feel sorry for whoever just identifies themselves with that one aspect in life. There is so much more to you, why not embrace it?
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If you like this article, you probably will enjoy Real-Talk: Dating, feeling lost and feeling home (Third Culture Kid). Thank you so much for reading 🙂 Tuni