In the beginning of this year, I had an awful week. I felt beside myself, I wallowed in sadness and I thought “wow life is unfair sometimes”. So, to cheer me up, my friends invited me to go out one night and that’s where I got roofied. I want to tell you about what I realized after the incident and I also talk about it in a video, which I link below.
Anyway, so we went to our usual places in Downtown Taipei. In the nightclub, I drank a fruit shot and that was a mistake. Because just shortly after that, I felt odd. I had lots of night outs and I also overestimated my limits before and blacked out. We all been there – and we ended having friends taking care of our drunk self. However, the feeling I had that night was different.
I never felt drowsy like I did after taking a drink from the table of a friend’s acquaintance. I thought I was getting tired, so I better go back to my friends. Now I know, something was off. To quote a medical page about date drugs: “An unexplained change in a person’s reactions to alcohol could mean a date rape drug is involved.”
I sat down and the next thing I know, I woke up in a dark and loud KTV room (karaoke room), luckily with my friends around me, singing their hearts out. Apparently, we changed locations, and I was asleep for several hours, with a bunch of people around me singing (screaming?) loudly, I didn’t wake up once. And by the time I got conscious, it was already 6 or 7 am. I was scared about what happened to me because I could simply not remember anything, so I ran out of the room, called an uber and went home.
The next day, my initial reaction after I realized what happened, was blaming myself for not being more careful and for getting drugged. But it wasn’t my fault, it’s that’s idiot that goes around and roofied people. I could have been more careful yes, but I was unlucky.
The more I thought about what could have happened, the more I realized how fast these things can happen and still happen in many night clubs and bar, all over the world. We have to be extremely careful when we are going out because some lowlife asshole could roofie us. It happens so fast, and even if you are very careful, you can just be unlucky. In the wake of what is happening in South Korea with these K-pop stars drugging and sexually assaulting girls, I don’t want to express again how sadly common these things are.
I got more and more terrified of what could have happened to me if my friends didn’t bring me with them throughout the night. I could have been robbed if I fell asleep somewhere by myself, I could have gotten into a fight and not protect myself, I could have been taken advantage of, I could have been waking up the next day and not knowing who violated my body.. I was in such a vulnerable position, for the entire night and so many things could have happened.
The following weeks really changed the way I looked at life. I was so very lucky that I “just” got roofied but nothing else happened. I didn’t have to deal with physical or deep emotional damages. I wasn’t robbed, beaten, taken advantaged of or raped. I was “just” drugged and felt sick for a couple of days. And I realized that these things happen so fast and the life with know and love can be taken from you so fast. Things can change drastically and who knows what damage you have to deal with for the rest of your life. You can be so unlucky and maybe you can never, never recover from what happened to you. I keep thinking about how lucky I am to have friends that care and felt responsible for me. I am lucky. A lot of girls were not.
After this incident, I really made myself enjoy everything more. Things that I thought were daily routines are actually so precious. What are the chances you live in the same place as your friends and get to hang out with them, spontaneously grab lunch or a drink after work. What are the chances that life aligns and you can do things with people you love. It is so precious that I have a loving family, caring friends and a passion that I am turning into my full-time profession. And even when I am in Beijing and have to sit in a room with air purifier because the air is horrible outside, I should be grateful that I get the chance to study here as I wanted to, that I have an air purifier and a laptop or exciting book to kill the time. I try to be grateful for every happy moment, and (try to, it’s not always easy) cut off negativity and toxic things in my life.
As I mentioned, the days before I got roofied, I felt sorry for myself. I felt treated unfair, I felt hurt and sad. Thinking back, I realized that I put so much thought and time into all the negative things that happened in life – and less on happier things. Why do we tend to let negative emotions take over and wallow in them, instead of really being happy and grateful for what we have, who we have in our life, what we can do with our time. It’s ridiculous that I let something in my past hurt me to the extend that years later, I would taint a day spent with my friends with thinking of these sad memories. Instead of just enjoying being with my friends and being grateful I actually get to spent time with them. Why do we focus more on what hurt us, than what makes us happy.
Why did I let myself down and felt so sorry for days leading to that incident and really, had to be roofied and get away with a scare, before I realized how grateful I should be for everything in my life – good and bad. And that I should have enjoyed every day much more and be much happier and carefree – because the life that we have, can be taken away so fast.
Be grateful, be happy and don’t wallow in things that don’t serve any happiness anymore, let them go and focus your energy and time in the small, joyful things in your everyday life 😊
Please take care of yourself, especially when you are going out. I was very lucky that nothing happened to me. However, in 2017 there were 14,217 reported cases of sexual assault in Taiwan alone. Don’t stay silent if you are a victim.
Government hotline for victims of sexual assault and harassment:
Link to the video of this post:
Lots of love, Tuni ❤